The Opposite of Coulrophobia and... Annie?

Seriously.  Clowns again.  Jennifer and I had to explore the disturbing opposite direction this time.  And as usual it took us places we never could have predicted going.

 

VampireNomad
On the subject of clowns... there is a CSI episode about the opposite of coulrophobia. Did you know there's an opposite to being terrified of them?

RantingnRaven
No way! Really? What's it called?

VampireNomad
I don't even know... let me check.... um, oh. Coulrophilia. Of course. ‘Phobia’ being the fear of and ‘philia’ being the love of.

RantingnRaven
Lmao... how deductive of you, Vampire Nomad.

VampireNomad
I am a CSI, little known fact.

RantingnRaven
You really are.

VampireNomad
So in this episode a body was found and the CSIs thought it was a transvestite murder because the man was wearing makeup but it turns out it was full face paint, not makeup, and he was a clown. Evidence and science lead to (SPOILERS) a clown being killed at a kids' birthday party. I can't even remember how. A mime was involved. And the parents. OH I REMEMBER. The husband came home to find the wife in bed with the clown. So he killed the clown and they dumped the body and then the wife, who had kept and washed the clown's outfit, convinced her husband to wear the clown outfit and it fixed their marriage because she had a sexual thing for clowns.
The end.
But then they got busted.
And I believe Catherine got the giggles in interrogation.

RantingnRaven
Whoa! That's some crazy plot. The wife was sexually attracted to clowns and it was such an overpowering attraction that she didn't care who was in the suit. And the husband commits a crime of passion because his wife is sleeping with a clown.

VampireNomad
Yes, you got it.

RantingnRaven
I don't even know where to begin with that. All I would see is Pennywise.

VampireNomad
I know, right? But some people aren't afraid of clowns. And then SOME people really just want to jump clown bones.

RantingnRaven
I don't really want my lover to wear more makeup than me.

VampireNomad
Or really big shoes and a sponge nose.

RantingnRaven
And some people just like sleeping with clowns.... sounds like half the population.

VampireNomad
LOL


RantingnRaven
It seems unnatural to not be afraid of clowns.
I think horror movies have really placed clowns in a precarious position. I mean, essentially, horror movies have taken an innocent image and made it terrifying.
What if someone really enjoys being a clown and that's their life's dream? And boom, it's ruined.

VampireNomad
It's ruined by both horror and fetishism. You can't win.
I never did think there'd be a clown fetish, though. Apparently there's a fetish for everything.

RantingnRaven
Apparently so.
When I was six, I went to the circus and when I got home someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said a clown. See my life's dream was ruined by Pennywise. Well actually it was Poltergeist and the blow up clown.

VampireNomad
Why on earth would you want to be a clown? .... wait, because of the sex?  ;)

RantingnRaven
Ha! I was six!

VampireNomad
Oh, well there goes that theory. Was it the small car?

RantingnRaven
No, because I liked the entertainment value and being in the circus.

VampireNomad
I feel like there are so many better jobs in the circus besides clown.

RantingnRaven
Invariably yes there are. I soon changed it to a trapeze artist.

VampireNomad
I think clowns became evil because anything that symbolizes innocence or safety (ie. children's things) become twisted in horrors to up the scare factor. Like, for example, summer camp in the Jason movies.
Or bedtime in Nightmare on Elm Street.

RantingnRaven
Good point. That's totally true. They want to screw with our mindset about safety and finding security in our childhood memories.
That always made me scared. I was so wimpy.

VampireNomad
I was scared by ANNIE, for godsakes.

RantingnRaven
Ha! The curly hair?

VampireNomad
No, the hanging off the bridge.

RantingnRaven
That was scary for kids, though.  We thought her hard knock life was going to take a tragic turn.

VampireNomad
It would really have lived up to the hard knock name if she'd fallen.

RantingnRaven
Ha! It would have.
We had no idea Punjab would save her.

VampireNomad
I suppose in retrospect we should have expected him to. He WAS a bodyguard.

RantingnRaven
True. And he could move things with his mind.

VampireNomad
Could he?

RantingnRaven
Yes, he had mastered telepathy.

VampireNomad
See, why don't I have him around? That's useful.

RantingnRaven
You need a guy like that.
I’ve seen it so many times as of late. Lenore and I watch it a lot.

VampireNomad
I have to admit I love it. I actually love Miss Hannigan so much. SO MUCH.
I identify with her.
I'd be just like her if I ran an orphanage, truly.

RantingnRaven
How could you not? Taking care of all those little girls. I like her character very much. She's redeeming in the end.

VampireNomad
But before the tragic redemption she's awesome. ;)

RantingnRaven
Oh yes. I love how mean and nasty she is.

VampireNomad
Actually I also very much love the Baroness Von Schrader from The Sound of Music.
She's so misunderstood.

RantingnRaven
You really identify with the ladies that don't like children.

VampireNomad
Yes, thematically. I really do. Or rather, I really do NOT identify with nuns who sew clothes out of curtains and voluntarily adopt seven wild children.

RantingnRaven
Lmao. No that lifestyle would never suit you. Their fashion isn't that great. I can't see you as a nun wearing your unicorn shoes.

VampireNomad
If life isn't for wearing unicorn shoes then I just don't know....
All the Baroness wanted was to land the hot wealthy husband and ship the kids off to boarding school. Which is sensible. And awesome. And she dressed so well! That's important, right?

RantingnRaven
Dressing well is very important no matter how many kids you have.
I don't think I'd adopt seven wild kids either.

VampireNomad
See? Be honest. If your only options are Mother Superior, Maria, or the Baroness, who would you be?

RantingnRaven
Well the Baroness of course.

VampireNomad
Exactly.
Those kids would have been fine in boarding school. And, ironically, safe from the Nazis there too. Thus negating the necessity of fleeing mid-concert.
Which is just rude.

RantingnRaven
Touche.
Yes, yes they would have.
I mean who leaves in mid concert?

VampireNomad
Right?
Have you ever been to a ballet where the prima ballerina just doesn't come back for act two?

RantingnRaven
Uh no...

VampireNomad
I don't even understand how we started with clown sex and ended here, actually.

RantingnRaven
Me either. We always go off on a tangent and then miraculously end somewhere we had no idea that we'd make it to.

VampireNomad
I think our brains just fire differently from normal.

RantingnRaven
‘Normal’ can be boring and we are far from boring.

VampireNomad
We are NOT boring.

RantingnRaven
;)

- Jennifer Ward and Corinne Simpson