Bedtime: A story by Nathan Waddell

You guys, Nathan Waddell is back!

Nathan wrote today's post and it is the sweetest, funniest story ever.  We miss you when you're not here, Nathan!  Come by and write any time.  You're always welcome.  xo

 

Bedtime

"Wow what movie is this? Is it for us? Can we watch it?"

She's holding my extendo-Hobbit bluray that just came out. I would love to watch it with her, but she's not even five yet, and I think it would be too scary. But, I would REALLY love to watch it with her.

Maybe if I just pull up an image of Azog the Defiler on my iPad, see how she does with him. “Ok, take a look at this guy, is he too scary for you?”

She laughs. “No, he’s not scary. But he is cool!”

“Well, he’s a little scary, don’t you think? I mean, when I was your age, E.T. was scary to me. You know, a little. It’s not like I had nightmares about him. Much.”

“Who’s E.T.?”

“Just a very scary monster, let’s not talk about him. Are you sure this Azog guy isn’t scary?”

Despite her brave self-assessment, I’m still pretty sure I should wait another year or two before I let her watch it. By the time the whole trilogy is out, we can sit down and gorge on all the Middle-Earth legacy. In the meantime, I guess I could read her the book. Or maybe just sort of summarize it for her. It’s kind of long.

I can imagine how that would go:

“Daddy can you tell us a story?”

“Yes. This one is called The Hobbit. In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”

“But what’s a hobbit?”

“Oh, well they are like little people.”

“Like me?”

“Sort of, but not really. No. Just listen to the story. So, then these dwarves show up and wanna have a party. Unexpectedly.”

“Dwarves like in Snow White? Is Grumpy there? Is the Hobbit named Snow White?”

“No! No more questions, because we still have to hear about the wizard and the dragon.”

“And Azog the Defiler. Because he’s cool.”

“Right. And scary. Ok, so the hobbit is named Bilbo Baggins.”

“I think he should be named Princess Snow.”

“Well he’s not! He’s named Bilbo.”

“I’m gonna call him Princess Snow.”

“Fine. Princess Snow decided to go with the dwarves to get all their treasures back from a dragon named Smaug.”

“Is Smaug like Toothless?”

“No, he has lots of teeth. He’s very toothful.”

“Oh. Well I hope Princess Snow helps him out of the canyon and fixes his tail and then he learns to fly on him and they can fly together and go fight Joker.”

“Joker? The Joker does not live in Middle-Earth. You really need to listen to this story. Because first they almost get eaten by trolls and then they get captured by goblins and Gollum is there and Bilbo...

“Princess Snow.”

“...Princess Snow finds the ring. The One Ring.”

“Well I’m gonna find the Four Ring. Because I’m four, and four is bigger than one.”

“Well, the One Ring is the biggest ring of all, ok? One Ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them. Do you wanna hear this story or not?”

“Yeah! You still have to tell the part where they get out of the cave and fight Azog and have to be rescued by the giant eagles!”

“What? How do you know that part?”

“When Papa came over and watched us yesterday he showed me the movie. It was awesome!”

 

- Nathan Waddell  (@NathanWaddell1 on Twitter)