Muppets: What are 'Things We Email Each Other About', Alex?

You know the adage "truth is stranger than fiction"?  Sometimes, in our world, email is stranger than fiction.  As in the conversations Jennifer and I have just between us sometimes end up weirder than any article we set out to write.  Case in point.

 

VampireNomad
Do you know what I was thinking about randomly?  The Muppets.  Okay, not totally randomly.  There's a thought process in place.  For my birthday Alan sent me 'The Avengers' complete Emma Peel set (51 episodes of classic Emma Peel and John Steed!  SQUEE) and Diana Rigg played Emma Peel.  Diana Rigg was a Bond girl and also, if you remember, the villainess (spellcheck, why won't you accept any iteration of that word?) in my favorite Muppet movie: The Great Muppet Caper.  So that's the track my train of thought took to get to the Muppets.  I miss the Muppets.  I miss watching celebrities interact exclusively with crazed puppets.  Am I alone in that?  

RantingnRaven
Whoa, that's a crazy coincidence given my affliction with the Muppets. What are the odds that Diana Rigg played the villainess in a Muppet movie?  That's crazy actually.  

I miss the Muppets too. Some of the greatest actors of all time were introduced to me via the Muppets.  You are not alone in your love of celebrities interacting with crazed puppets.

My favourite skit on the Muppets was 'Pigs in Space'. This when Miss Piggy was a nurse and so was Janice (the guitarist from Electric Mayhem). When the scene would open, there'd be an operating room on a space ship and Miss Piggy would always say "Paging Dr. Bob. Dr. Bob." I would be in hysterics watching it.  And they called the Pigs in Space ship "Swine Trek"!

VampireNomad
I have to ask if you actually mean "affliction" with Muppets or if that's "affection" - because either way it's kind of awesomely accurate.  I'm reading it like you're afflicted with a Muppet fixation which... I mean, isn't everyone?

I LOVED PIGS IN SPACE TOO!  I loved that the captain was named Captain Link Hogthrob.  He was so proto-Riker to me.  Haha!  (I love you, Jonathan Frakes, for realsies.  But I also love poking fun at Riker so you have to just take that on the chin, really.)  

What was the big blue monster thing called?  Sweetums!!  Sweetums.  God that thing, what was that?  He (she?) was awesome, though.  And Statler and Waldorf in the theatre box, always heckling.  Those curmudgeons.  Everything in The Muppet Show was groundbreaking in some way, actually.  It was so meta.  I mean sometimes it was a serious variety show and sometimes it was a behind-the-scenes look at a variety show and sometimes it was a parody of a behind-the-scenes look at a variety show.  Genius!  

Oh yes, and Diana Rigg played Lady Holiday and MY BAD SHE WAS NOT THE VILLAIN.  In The Great Muppet Caper she is a fashion designer whose necklace gets stolen.  Her brother, played by Charles Grodin, is the villain.  Oh - SPOILER.  Sorry about that.  Anyway, Diana Rigg is so fabulous.  

RantingnRaven
I guess affection is more appropriate; although as a kid, the Muppets were everything to me.

Sweetums, omg, I forgot about his name totally. He was like the gentle giant of sorts.

The character names are genius, really. I feel as though the story lines that were loosely based upon what our parents were watching allowed kids and parents a chance to come together and watch something that appealed to both age groups. Of course on the simplistic level it was enjoyable for the kids, but for the parents it was well written and had a meta message.

Ha! Statler & Waldorf, those old guys....so hilarious.  They always had an opinion. Geez there are so many people that I've encountered in my life that are like those two.

Isn't funny that the character you loved from The Great Muppet Caper was a fashion designer.  I think there's a meta message there.

VampireNomad
For some reason I'm remembering this sketch where Miss Piggy was in an old-style country summer dress with sunhat and she was singing some romantic song by a pond and somehow Gonzo got a waterski cord attached to her foot and dragged her away through the water mid-song behind a boat?

Seriously, there's nothing like the Muppets.  And when I'm really excited the only appropriate thing to do is Kermit-hand-flail.  YAAAAAAAY  *Kermit hands*

I love all things Diana Rigg but she was this arch sophisticated fashion designer in The Great Muppet Caper and as a kid I remember being fascinated by how snobbishly fabulous she was.  

I honestly think the Electric Mayhem are a better band than half the actual bands out there these days.  Like if 'The Muppet Show' was still around and Justin Beiber was a guest, Dr. Teeth would perform circles around that kid.  I'm just saying.

RantingnRaven
LMAO. That's the funniest scene ever.  I think I remember seeing that.

The Kermit hand flail is appropriate in most situations...lol. Ok, so Dr. Teeth from Electric Mayhem was so uber cool and the band was so ahead of its time. IF the Muppets were still around they would have made kids like Justin Beiber non-existent. His lack of talent and sophistication amongst a bunch of Muppets would have palpable.

When I was six, I was in the hospital and the girl I shared a room with had some Muppets. She had Animal, Janice, and Dr. Teeth. We would pretend to be these crazed characters for hours.

We need to bring back 'The Muppet Show'. It was amazingly witty and full of subtle nuances.

VampireNomad
Except, if I'm strictly honest, I really have never liked Fozzie.  Never.  I said this to my boss once and he said "Nobody likes Fozzie.  You're not supposed to like Fozzie, that's the point."  Which is either insane or damn profound. 

My favorite when I was a kid was Rawlf.  Weird, right?  But damn I loved Rawlf.  He played the piano!!  He was a dog!!!  He got really excited playing the piano!!  His name was RAWLF!!!

Who was your favorite?

RantingnRaven
Hahaha! Rawlf was really a great character. He would totally jam out and give Fozzie a look like he was just putting up with his shenanigans because he had to.

Actually I find that profound. He is right. No one likes Fozzie. Hmmm...that's some good analysis there.

I liked Gonzo. He was always acting crazy and he never let his troubles or failures keep him down. He also loved Miss Piggy despite his best friend being in a long term relationship with her.

VampireNomad
Okay, let's talk about the Kermit/Piggy thing.  You brought it up so let's talk about that.

Piggy was basically a stalker, right?  I mean Kermit never seemed that interested really.  Or was he playing hard to get?  Was he the meek, mild-mannered, put-upon guy who secretly adored the diva-pig? 

But more importantly (and I touched on this on the site one day), in A Muppet Christmas Carol the Cratchits are played by Miss Piggy and Kermit.  Fine, I accept that.  Then it gets weird.  All the little Cratchits are equally divided between boys who are frogs and girls who are pigs.  That is not how DNA works.  I watch 'CSI', okay?  If a frog and a pig were to breed, their offspring (assuming it's even possible to breed a mammal and an amphibian) would be hybrid pig-frogs.  Frog-pigs.  Frigs.  Progs.  Whatever!  It wouldn't be all green froggy boys and all pink piggy girls.  IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!  Out of everything the Muppets have ever done - 'Pigs in Space', the Swedish Chef (HIS HANDS ARE HUMAN IT IS SO FREAKY), Sam the Eagle, Sweetums, Dr. Teeth - the thing that blows my mind is the horrific lack of DNA science in A Muppet Christmas Carol.

I'm glad I got that off my chest.  :)

 

The conversation continued that night over chat.

 

RantingRaven
Bahahha....I'm just reading your hybrid piggy frog email. Aahahhaa!

VampireNomad
Seriously, the pig/frog thing drives me batty.

RantingnRaven
I know, right? They should be a hybrid of both. There is no way that DNA splices so evenly.

VampireNomad
PROGS.

RantingnRaven
Also Kermit always seems to be trying to get away from her. He is disinterested.
Friggies.

VampireNomad
Friggies LOL!
PROGGIES.

RantingnRaven
Hahahah!
PROGGIES!


And on that extraordinarily mature note, our conversation on the Muppets ended.  But the Muppets themselves endure.  They stand for childhood, for imagination, for hilarity, for friendship, and for something that drew families together.  Surely everyone who remembers them has a favorite Muppet memory.  What’s yours?

- Corinne Simpson

- Jennifer Ward