Nathan's Laserium: Status(es)

So the other day I went down to the Status Store to buy some Facebook statuses. There was a sale on, buy one get one free. They were even Twitter-optimized to be under 140 characters. Course I don't tweet but one of these days I might have to branch out. I loaded up, I paid for ten so I walked out with 20 really clever and witty statuses. I was trying to decide if I should use em all up in one day, just dump them out there so I'm on top of everyone's newsfeed like a passive aggressive drama queen. But a funny passive aggressive drama queen. But then I thought it might be better to ration them out, one or two a day.

Then this dude jumps from behind a sandwich board (listing 4 foods you should never eat) and he's holding a knife! Says "Give me those statuses right now muhfuh!

"But I just got these! They're Twitter optimized!"

"I ain't LOLing around here! Give em to me now!"

Obviously I had no choice. So now this asshole's out there posting MY statuses!

As he was running away I cussed him out- "I hope no one 'likes' a single one of those, dickwad!"

He yelled back at me, "I did you a favor- now you can change your status to say that you got mugged!"
That's true . . . though it's really more of a story suited for a blog post.

(originally posted at Pooing in the Woods)

 

- Nathan Waddell