Ginger and I Talk TV: The Sequel

Last time, on Roommate TV Talk, Ginger and I discussed upcoming shows we hadn’t yet seen and were excited to watch.  Among them were American Horror Story: Coven, Penny Dreadful, Agents of SHIELD, Once Upon A Time, Once Upon A Time in Wonderland, Walking Dead, Elementary, The Strain, Hannibal, CSI, and Intelligence.  Of those, which ones survived the great cull?  Or the TV Hunger Games, if you’re looking for a more pertinent cultural reference.  It’s time to take stock. 

VampireNomad:    First I have to say that Penny Dreadful and The Strain still aren’t out.

Ginger:    Nope.  The Strain has a release date but Penny Dreadful doesn’t.  

V:    So what are we still watching?

G:    We’re still watching Once Upon A Time, CSI, American Horror Story: Coven, Walking Dead...

V:    Well you are.  I don’t do zombies.

G:    ... and Elementary.  Was Sherlock on the list?

V:    Nope.  

G:    It should have been on the list.

V:    Well we’re watching it so we can add it now.  

G:    Yep.

V:    I think first we need to talk about tomorrow.

G:    Oh.  The ‘big event’.  The return of Catherine Willows to prime time television.

V:    Dun dun dunnnn.  Yes!  The biggest event.  In the VampireNomad timeline of Catherine, Intelligence is the sequel to Catherine’s side of CSI.  Like she left CSI Vegas and got a new job at Intelligence.

G:    At the FBI, actually, where she was scooped up immediately by the CIA because she is awesome.

V:    Yes, exactly.  And she changed her name so they wouldn’t all be intimidated by her greatness.

G:    And all spies use pseudonyms.  Look how many guys have said they’re James Bond.

V:    Hilarious.

G:    Speaking of James Bond, there’s a miniseries coming out about Ian Fleming.  Maybe one day that will be on Netflix like The Hour and we can not watch it too.

V:    I love The Hour but I like not watching it better.  For a great show it’s awfully dull.

G:    Dominic West is great.

V:    He’s always great.  He’s so sexy.  Maybe he’ll turn up on Intelligence.

G:    Maybe.  What did he end up doing when The Wire was over?  McNulty I mean, the character.

V:     Uhhhh.... wasn’t he a beat cop?

G:    Was he a beat cop?

V:    Wasn’t he?

G:    Well maybe the CIA will pick him up too.  Then he’ll be on Intelligence.

V:     Hannibal hasn’t come back yet, right?

G:    Not yet.

V:    I basically live to watch Hannibal secretly feed people to Laurence Fishburne.

G:    He has it coming.

V:    He so does.  We’re enjoying Elementary and Once Upon A Time, aren’t we?

G:    Yes.

V:    Well Once Upon A Time is totally batshit.

G:    It’s ridiculous but I love it.

V:     I think I roll my eyes so high some episodes I’m worried they’ll get stuck.

G:    Yeah, it’s a soap opera.

V:    At least it knows it, though.  I hated Wonderland.

G:    Couldn’t even watch it.  The CGI was offensive to my eyes.

V:    And Jafar was offensive to all my senses.  How’d they go wrong there?  He’s actually a really great actor.

G:    I don’t think we watched it enough to give an honest criticism of him but I think the greatest failure was that they made it a love story instead of an adventure about a fierce independent little girl.

V:    Agreed.  Ultimate fail.  Disservice to literature.  Oh, we love AHS: Coven, though!

G:    Coven is great.

V:    I love Danny Huston in it.  He’s sassy!

G:    He is sassy.  I’m surprised by how much I like Emma Roberts in it.  I was fully prepared to hate her.

V:    It’s true.  And Jessica Lange is always brilliant.

G:    Amazing.  

V:     Also Angela Bassett is glowing.  

G:    She might actually be a witch.

V:    She might.  She looks vaguely immortal.

G:    There’s no other explanation for that skin.

V:    Do we dare talk about Agents of SHIELD?

G:    I think Alan said it all.  And he gave it more of a shot than we did.

V:    Agreed.  And his summary was very on point.  But the difference is he’s still waiting for it to get better...

G:    Well he can let us know.

V:    At this point they’d need to have an entire hour featuring Robert Downey Jr. naked to make me tune back in.  I really hated it.

G:    It was really bad.  What about Sleepy Hollow?

V:    Sleepy Hollow is problematic for me.  I want to like it.  And sometimes I do like it.  But it’s so weirdly tidy with it’s demon-a-week premise.

G:    Yeah, the monster-a-week premise is difficult.  And I don’t care enough about the longterm storyline.  Ichabod Crane is great, though.

V:    Oh yeah he is.

G:    And the actress who plays the cop?

V:    Oh yeah, what’s her name?

G:    Girl Who Used To Sleep With Michael Fassbender.  Nicole something.

V:    I’m pretty sure she’s stoked to be forever known as Michael Fassbender’s former lay.

G:    Well now she’s the Girl On Sleepy Hollow Whose Name I Can’t Remember.

V:    Anyway she’s pretty good.

G:    She’s great.

V:    But overall I’m not excited about watching it.

G:    I think our original plan was to wait until summer and watch them all at once when there’s nothing else to watch.  I think we stick to that plan.  It can’t be worse than True Blood.

V:    Oh my god, True Blood.  It’s not even worth it for Eric porn anymore.

G:    Well he is coming back.  But...

V:    It’s a clusterfuck of insanity.

G:    It’s terrible.  I can barely even hate-watch it anymore.

V:    I love Elementary, though.

G:    Elementary is great.  Lucy Liu is a great Watson.

V:    Remember I said she might be my favorite Watson ever?  I stand by that.

G:    It seems to be a popular opinion.

V:    And as great as the Cumberbatch is, I really do love Elementary’s Sherlock.  He’s very true to me.  Also Aidan Quinn still has lovely eyes.

G:    Beautiful.

V:    We haven’t talked about CSI.

G:    What’s to say about CSI?  There’s been a marked improvement this year from last year.

V:    I agree.  I think the writers have stepped up a bit and found the characters’ footing.  And of course Nick is back.

G:    Team George.

V:    And I fully confess that I am now onboard with Elisabeth Shue.

G:    I like her too.

V:    But I will always and forever be Team George.

G:    Forever.  And Team Catherine.

V:    Which goes without saying.  I think that sums up TV.

G:    Well we didn’t talk about Doctor Who but I won’t make you go there.

V:    *eye roll*

G:    Did you see the crack in the wall yesterday?

V:    It was a light refraction, not a crack.  You’re not Amy Pond.

G:    I guess you’re just not suited to be the doctor’s companion. You’re way too much of a Scully.

V:    I’m flattered and confused.  That may be the first time in my life I’ve been accused of being too scientific and logical for something.  Oh!  Supernatural!

G:    Oh yeah.  You’re a little late to the party on that one.

V:    I was scared by the burning girl and it distracted me from seeing Dean.  Now that I’ve seen him, I’m onboard.  But I hate the dad.

G:    Fair.  He’s a bully.

V:    We have like five seasons of it?  Nine?  

G:    Nine seasons I think?  Eight?  I don’t remember how many times anybody has died.  Oh - spoiler.

V:    Seriously?

G:    But they’re sexy so it’s okay.  We’ll forgive them.

V:    You realize this entire roundup is basically about who we find hot on TV.

G:    Isn’t that why we watch TV?

V:    Is it?  I’m not arguing, I just think maybe it makes us look more shallow than we should.

G:    We watch loads of BBC and HBO.  And we’re not watching Coven for hot dudes.  Frankenboy does nothing for me and neither does Danny Huston.

V:    Let it be said for the record that all Hustons do something for me.

G:    You’ve never told us that before.

V:    Oh shut up.  Can we call this a wrap?  Let’s end with the recommendations.

G:    CSI.  Better than it used to be.

V:    Better than it used to be since Catherine left.

G:    Yeah, okay.  Once Upon A Time.  

V:    Do you have a tagline for that?

G:    Once Upon A Time: from the creators of Lost...

V:    Lol.  Coven.  

G:    Awesome.  Buy the DVD.

V:    Intelligence, I’m calling it now, will be amazing.  Tune in tomorrow.  (Or today, really, if you're reading this Tuesday.)  And Elementary and Sherlock.  Because apparently Sherlock Holmes is so hot right now.

G:    Yes he is.

V:    That’s the wrap up.  Let’s watch something!

G:    Scream 2?

V:    Let’s do it!


- Corinne Simpson