When I told my daughter that daddy and I were going on a date, she said, “ Why? You’re already married. You don’t need to date." I explained to her that daddy and I still needed to nurture our relationship and going out for dinner, just the two of us, is necessary. Still it was hard for a seven-year-old to understand.
My husband and I spend a lot of time together, be it with the kids or just hanging out at home. But nothing compares to un-interrupted time away from home so we can talk about adult things and simply talk without having a child interrupt mid-interesting conversation.
I know that it seems simple: like why can’t you talk after the child goes to sleep? Well, we can but by the time the day is done and after all the chaos subsides, holding a worthwhile conversation at eleven o’clock in the evening can be less appealing than one would think. Honestly, I am too tired after my daughter falls asleep to have a conversation that would require my full attention.
My husband and I have two differing schedules—he’s a nighthawk and I am an early bird—so therein lies the issue. After everyone goes to bed, he gets his “me” time and before everyone wakes, I get my “me” time. But as for solving problems, discussing future plans, catching up with each other’s lives, after a long day is not the appropriate time.
So this is why date night is so important. My husband and I take turns planning date night. We don’t have a strict once a month date night but we certainly try to have a date night every six weeks. Personally, I look forward to dressing up and going out even if it is only dinner and a movie. Having that unfettered time together is so important and necessary. We get to remember what it was like to date before we had the responsibility of a family. We get to flirt and hold hands without a little person between us holding both our hands.
Having a date night is a nice way to catch up with one another and to nurture the relationship. It also helps us to stay involved in the other person’s life. Too often a marriage can become more about the family and the needs of the family versus the needs of the parents that created the family. In order for the family to be strong, so must the relationship between the parents be strong.
And after all the things we go through on a weekly basis, it's nice and oh so necessary to just unwind and be together without the responsibilities of parenting.
If I can offer any words of wisdom to parents it is to have date night and nurture your beautiful relationship.
RantingnRaven on twitter