Nathan's Laserium: Halloweeserium

God I love Halloween. As commercialized - alas - as it's getting, almost as bad as Xmas, but still... true meanings and all that. Here's a poem from 2009, when we were inundated with these huge crab-like spiders on our porch. 


The spiders on the porch are banging on the door

I know better than to answer but what can I do?

I open the door

Ugh! They're even bigger than before

Listen you guys, you know the deal

you can weave your webs and eat whatever you catch out there

but you leave us alone in here

Those clusters of eyes stare at me

and those mouthpieces

drumming and drooling


"Hungry!" they cry in those dessicated arachnovoices

Too bad. You know the deal

"We change the deal! Hungry!"



Wait here

I stomp downstairs and turn on the lights

manage to grab two goblins before the rest scurry away

"Where are you taking them? My babies!"

The spiders are hungry. Sorry

"But we had a deal!"

Yeah well

Deals change


- Nathan Waddell