Nathan's Laserium: Astro-Creep VS The Space Pumpkin

 

Slipknot's new album came out this week. I am in the middle of a set of night shifts so I don't have time to write a review other than to say its amazing. You should get it. I also don't have time to write a Slipknot-themed Halloween piece so here is a Rob Zombie inspired piece from 2007. Enjoy!

 

Astro-Creep VS The Space Pumpkin

 

Streaking past the Oort Cloud in his '65 ThunderJeep

The undead dude with an attitude, the bastard called Astro-Creep

Comes flying past the Harvest Moon, screaming and careening

to reap a crop of little kids who go out Hallowe'ening

Ground up bones and pureed guts and sludge blood laced with sucrose-

the ghoulish fuel Astro-creep needs to terrorize the cosmos

But on Olympus Mons a red light turns on

threat detected by Trick-R-Treat-O-Tron

The Space Pumpkin leaps up, he knows the drill

He grins at the thought of a mutant to kill

He blasts off from Mars and heads for the stars

With his jetpack he's faster than a hundred squad cars

He jumps out in front of Astro-Creep's path

and launches an arsenal with a maniacal laugh

Solar spiders and asteroid bats rocket through the ether

Exploding on the ThunderJeep, above and underneath her

But Astro-Creep was far from beat, though he lost his cool

He shoots back nano-slime, laser snot and even robo-drool

Down below costumed kids see aurora borealis

Unaware 'twere an omen of freakyzoidal malice

But the Space Pumpkin was on it, he pulled out some tricks

With Vakuumquats and Saturn Squash and a whole gourdal mix

Orangish melons smash and micronovae explode

Greenish ones burst open and black holes implode

Astro-Creep was forced to retreat and knew for the first time fear

but with skull sockets blazing he swore revenge for next year

The Space Pumpkin laughed and said you can try

I'll use your brains to make space pumpkin pie

The children below are NOT yours to eat

Their souls are mine, they're MY trick or treat!

 

Astro-Creep, of course, is in reference to Astro-Creep 2000 and the song 'More Human Than Human'. Did you know that song is very loosely about Blade Runner? That's where the title comes from.

 

- Nathan Waddell