Nathan's Laserium: What To Do About Q

I can't even write that asshole's name. You know who I mean- the charming national radio host who turned out to be a violent, serial abuser of women. Enough scathing words have been written about him that this website hardly needs to add more, except that, in THIS POST, I recommended his show wholeheartedly, and so I do want to address, if not the asshole himself, maybe the show he created that is currently struggling (and doing an admirable job, I think) to pick up the pieces.

Did you go through a dinosaur phase as a kid? I hope so. I did, and I am currently helping my children to navigate through theirs. Every dinosaur book had a quick explanation about how fossils are formed, after a while you just learned to skip those pages to get to the good parts, but that process provides a helpful analogy so let's quickly review: dinosaur dies, gets buried in mud, and slowly over millions of years its organic matter gets changed molecule by molecule into stone. Now the dinosaur is a fossil.

That's what needs to happen with CBC Radio Q. Except not over millions of years, and at the end of the process, you want a vibrant living thing rather than a dead stone thing. Because right now the risk is that due to the brand-butchering of the asshole, the flagship show of CBC Radio will go the way of the dinosaurs.

Obviously the first major change is the host. My vote is for Piya Chattopadhyay, who already has an excellent track record filling in occasionally on Q and on the other national morning show, The Current.

Secondly, phase out the theme music, replace it with something else. That music is irrevocably intertwined with the asshole, so get rid of it. Don't even have to make a big thing about it, just quietly do it sometime soon.

The format of the show could be tweaked, but I wouldn't care to see its focus changed too much. Some have complained that it didn't have enough CanCon and that this was a conscious decision by the asshole, but even assholes can make good decisions- no one is questioning his broadcasting skills. Keep the focus on global cultural issues and with the A-list interviewees, and keep the Friday Live guest bands. Elvira Kurt needs to stay, she is awesome. Maybe give her a new segment, though, if just to give her a fresh start. Hey, what's Bif Naked up to? I wonder if she would be interested in some sort of segment, I'd love that.

The asshole sure loved taking credit and accolades for his opening essays, but it turns out he didn't even write the vast majority of them. Plus he forbade guest hosts to do them, for the most part. It'd be a great little middle finger to him to keep them. Just don't have that stupid little rhyme with Q at the end.

In fact, they should just rename the show. Not a letter or Q2 or anything that harkens backwards, but something elegant and classy and fresh. Sorry, but Laserium is already taken.

How about "Definitely Not The Asshole"?

 

- Nathan Waddell