Know who’s against you this holiday season. Beware those who would work to dampen your Christmas spirit and rob you of your charitable good will. Or worse!
He stole Christmas.
Desire: To shut the Whos up.
Sins: He stole Christmas, you guys. He whisked every tree, decoration, gift, and scrap of food away from the Who houses in the night. He made his dog wear antlers and pull a sleigh. He lied to Cindy Lou Who (who was no more than two).
Status: Redeemed. His heart grew three sizes and he brought the Christmas feast back to the Whos.
All of the other reindeer
They’re a gang of bullies.
Desire: Presumably, uniformity.
Sins: They laughed and called Rudolph names because of his nose. They never let him join their reindeer games.
Status: Redeemed. Once Rudolph saved Santa by leading the way, the reindeer embraced him. They even assured him he’d have a place in history.
Desire: To rise and shine, man.
Sins: Shined. Was hot that day.
Status: Undefeated. Frosty, presumably, melted. The sun wins everything.
He’s an exceptional thief and since he’s moving up to kidnapping you should be more polite.
Desire: To steal $640 million in bearer bonds from the Nakatomi Corporation.
Sins: Murder. Robbery. Posed as a terrorist. Masterminded a hostile takeover. Took hostages on Christmas Eve. Underestimated John McClane.
Status: Deceased. He took a plunge off the top of the Nakatomi Tower.
He’s just a bad seed. A gremlin from the wrong side of midnight.
Desire: To wreak havoc on Kingston Falls.
Sins: Ate after midnight. Got wet. He tied Barney the dog up in Christmas lights. Killed Mrs. Deagle. Led a band of gremlin marauders through town on Christmas Eve.
Status: Deceased. Death by bright light - the sun got him.
Fame and fortune call him.
Desire: To have a song-and-dance girl in feature films with him.
Sins: He was too suave. He stole Bing Crosby’s girlfriend and forced Bing to hide his new girlfriend away at the Holiday Inn. Danced really well even when drunk.
Status: Neutralized. Fred and Bing each found a girl and lived in peace.
“A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner”
Desire: To enslave the poor in menial labour, amass wealth and not part with a dime of it.
Sins: He applauded prisons and workhouses. He wouldn’t give to charity. He kept the office very cold and never gave Bob Cratchit a raise. He considered Christmas to be humbug. He lost at love by being a workaholic. He was curmudgeonly.
Status: Redeemed. He learned the true meaning of Christmas and saved Tiny Tim.
A fabulous rodent ruler with an army at his disposal.
Desire: To beat then eat all the gingerbread men.
Sins: Led an army against the gingerbread men. Tried to eat the soldiers. Attempted murder of the Nutcracker.
Status: Deceased. Brained by Clara’s slipper and stabbed by the Nutcracker.
- Corinne Simpson