A Very Merry Laserium Christmas

Merry Christmas from all of us at VampireNomad.com! On behalf of Alan, Corinne and I, thanks for visiting. Whatever your tradition on this day, we hope it's a good one. Here's an old poem from a Ghost of Christmas Past. 

Homie Bear was in a mall doing some Christmas shopping
Pretending not to notice how everyone's jaws were dropping
Whenever he left his lair people always stared
His very beariness tended to make them fairly scared
But when he saw Mr. Santa Claus he felt a little jealous
Of all the looks of love he got from the small gals and little fellas
Homie was so happy to see all the beaming smiles
That he started dancing right there in the aisles
But all the children screamed and then the children scattered
And Homie Bear went home alone feeling sad and shattered
So the next day he asked a Salvation Army Santa
Who said "I'd like to help but I'm actually from Atlanta
"I dress up every year to help a worthy cause
"But you'll have to go up North to find the real Claus"
So Homie Bear set off on a trip fraught with many perils
Luckily for him he was wearing his favorite Merrils
He finally arrived at the North Pole feeling kind of freezing
Shivering and snorting and coughing and wheezing
He told his troubles to Santa who offered a solution
To Homie's undesired emitting of scaring-kids pollution
"Ride with me as a reindeer pulling along my sleigh!"
So Homie hitched himself up and off they went away
But Homie felt a little airsick and thought that he would vomit
And he started feeling hungry so he sort of ate some Comet
So I guess dressing as a reindeer was a bit of a mistake
So Santa put him in his workshop and taught him how to make
Toys for all the girls and boys who were "Good" on Santa's list
But Homie felt a little bad for the ones that Santa missed
He made fireworks for the naughty kids who like to play with fire
This made Santa none too pleased and roused up all his ire
"Homie Bear you're a hopeless cause even for Santa Claus
"You make bad toys and then you put my reindeer in your jaws
"So you can go on back to your den and quit making this mess
"And furthermore I hope you have a very unmerry Christmas"
So Homie was sad again and trudged back to his lair
Wishing he was soft and cuddly and not a fearsome bear
But then he thought "I'm not a reindeer and I'm certainly not an elf
"I am a big bad burly bear and I'm proud to be myself!"

 

- Nathan Waddell