So it's the end of another year which means New Year's Eve is breathing down our necks. Panting, hot and heavy. Why even is New Year's a holiday? I digress: let's talk celebration in writing. I've written some powerful missives on the subject in past years. To wit...
Happy New Year, pretty mortals!
Two thousand and ten.
Just so we're clear, I'm still waiting for this...
So... get on that, science brains of the world.
And again in 2006:
Don't look now but another year is upon you.
2006 was really fucking great to me so I expect damn fine things from 2007 in turn. Listen, 2007, you have a lot to live up to. So... you know... get busy.
One of these past years I started my semi-annual tradition of making resolutions I intend to break because I inevitably break all resolutions whether I want to or not. I'm not good with rules and motivational guidelines. But saying "I don't believe in resolutions, I believe in living every day to its fullest" sounds like total bull regardless of how true it may be. Hence, the Made-To-Break Resolution.
This year's MTB Resolutions are as follows:
1. I will spend less time thinking about Sharon Stone.
2. I won't show photo albums of my cat to everybody I meet.
3. I will totally participate in a triathlon!
4. Running for office without citizenship? Simple. Watch me.
5. Yeah, yeah, less chocolate, blah, blah.
Success is mine, mwhahahaha! Since New Zealand is a day ahead of all you North American slackers I've been in 2007 for about fifteen hours now and I've already broken #1 and #5. Yes, I'm that good.
Happy New Year, slackers! Catch up, would ya?
P.S. Tinfoil jumpsuits are rather itchy. But flying cars really are the bomb. I kid you not. (I'm not afraid of you, Chaos Theory! I will leak secrets of the future in defiance of your threats!)
Which brings us to this year. 2014. Right on the teetering brink of 2015.
Let's take stock, shall we?
Tinfoil jumpsuits: no. Flying cars: no. Transporters: no.
However, I have a number of Made-To-Break Resolutions to unleash again this year. It's a grand tradition, isn't it? I'm reviving it. Let's all go ahead and make some together.
1. Triathlon 2.0. Blindfolded.
2. I will not drool the entire way through Mad Max: Fury Road.
3. I will give up sugar for Lent.
4. CSI’s Grave Danger double-header will stop being watched bi-annually.
5. Learn to splice genes? Challenge accepted!
2015. Twenty fifteen. Two thousand and fifteen.
Guys, let's just make sure we all get through it together. You know, as a team. A big riotous extended family. Let's learn a little tolerance. Open our minds a little more. Yell a little less. Read a book.
2015. Bring it.
- Corinne Simpson