Misheard Lyrics - A Friday Confessional

Sometimes songs are better the way I sing them.  And sometimes... not.


Bush - Everything Zen
Actual lyric: “there’s no sex in your violence”
Misheard lyric: “there’s no sex in your violets”
Sure, the original lyric is dark and makes a brooding kind of sense.  But it also makes sense not to have sex in violets because you will crush them.  


Rihanna - We Found Love
Actual lyric: “we found love in a hopeless place”
Misheard lyric: “we found love in a hostess cake”
Upon reflection, these are the same thing.  Just one is more delicious.


Alanis Morissette - Thank U
Actual lyric: “thank you terror”
Misheard lyric: “thank you Taber”
This is one isn’t fully mine.  Out of fairness I won’t name the friend who also misheard it this way but we both apparently believed Alanis is a real fan of Taber corn.  It is really good corn.  


Pat Boone – Moody River
Actual lyric: “moody river, more deadly”
Misheard lyric: “booty river, more deadly”
This is one is all on my boss.  Listening to the radio at work he suddenly said “Hey, is this song about a booty river?” and honestly it would be so much more epic if it was.


Billy Joel - We Didn’t Start the Fire
Has there ever been a song so innately simple that offers so much complex misunderstanding?

Actual lyric: “trouble in the Suez”
Misheard lyric: “trouble in the sewers”
Because the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lived in the sewers and trouble always followed them around.  Yes, the Suez Canal also had a lot of trouble and is probably a more poignant historical reference but... whatever, I heard sewers.  Which makes it a Turtle reference.

Actual lyric: “Belgians in the Congo”
Misheard lyric: “Belgians in the condo”
Maybe they were bringing waffles?  To the condo?  For breakfast?   


Annie Lennox - No More I Love Yous
Actual lyric: “I used to be woebegone”
Misheard lyric: “I used to be warm at home”
In my defense, who says ‘woebegone’ ever anymore?  


Blind Melon - No Rain
Actual lyric: “you know I’d like to keep my cheeks dry today”
Misheard lyric: “you know I’d like to keep my cheating strategy”
I actually only figured this one out as I was writing this piece.  I put on some sweet nineties tunes as background music and decided, on a whim, to look up whether or not they say ‘strategy’ or ‘stragety’ (which is what it sounds like and which isn’t a word) and discovered, to my great shock, that it’s actually ‘keep my cheeks dry today’ which... what? My mind, it is blown.


Van Halen - Panama
I didn’t mishear a lyric here, I just spent my entire life believing I really loved a song called ‘Animal’.  “Animal / Ani-maa-al...”  
Then just last year I found out that Van Halen doesn’t have a song called ‘Animal’ and this song ‘Panama’ that I’d dismissed as a lesser song and never bothered to listen to is actually the song I’ve been listening to.  And everything changed, man. 


- Corinne Simpson