Nathan's Laserium: A Series of Robot Shorts

The Brotherhood of Fat Robots

So this fat robot came up to me and he was trying to get me to join his union, and I was like, "What union?" and he says "The Brotherhood of Fat Robots" and I was like "But I'm not fat! And I'm not a robot!" It was hard to tell, but I think this made him a little sad. Of course I couldn't help but ask him what if a fat female robot wanted to join the Brotherhood, what then? He looked at me like I was stupid and says "Robots are genderless."

 

A Nano-story

The doctor showed me the x-rays. "We've found the problem- your bloodstream has been invaded by some nanotech bots which are responsible for your sore joints, nasuea and bioluminescence."
"That's horrible," I said. "What can I do?"
"It's not as bad as it looks. Just take two anti-robotics and call me in the morning."

 

The Test of Ten Tankbots

"You know the drill. Just gotta destroy ten tankbots and you're a certified Tankbuster." 

I've been dreaming of this day all my life, ever since the tanks and drones went rogue and took over. I knew I would succeed.

"How will you know I got all ten?"

"'The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies.'"

"Sorry?"

"1 Samuel 18, bitch."

"Oh. I don't know what that is."

"Just bring us their gunshafts and you'll be in."

 

- Nathan Waddell