Friday Fun: In Which I Answer Your Search Queries

You know what I haven’t done in awhile?  Check in on our search stats.

A lot of mysterious questions are leading some of you fine folk into the fold and on principle I applaud anything that brings you here.  I hope you find answers.  I hope you’re entertained.  (Are you not entertained?)  I hope you find some of what you’re looking for (unlike U2 who are, presumably, still looking).  But I also wish you’d learn how to spell.  And from the sheer volume of you continuously asking questions about Dracula’s motivations concerning Lucy Westenra, shall I assume many of you are writing Bram Stoker-related papers?  I’m happy to assist - I do love dear Lucy and clearly also vampires - but I warn you that citing this blog is likely to win you as much actual bibliographical credit as citing Wikipedia.  And you ARE citing this blog, right?  

Moving on...

I want to help, truly I do.  So herein I shall directly address searches that brought you hither in case your original visit didn’t offer the enlightenment you desired.  


“madison mcreynolds csi”
Madison McReynolds was the original Lindsey Willows on CSI - the feisty young daughter of Catherine Willows and estranged husband Eddie.  When the character was aged up in later seasons, Madison was replaced by actress Kay Panabaker.


“tall naked elves tanya”
Dudes, I haven’t written about naked Elves of any height in years.  Years!  I swear.  But perhaps you stumbled upon something interesting in the Crypt?  In any case, none of the Elves mentioned on this site were ever named Tanya.  Allow me suggest that you may instead be searching for Haldir?  Celeborn?  Elladan and Elrohir?  I’m going to stop now.


“song used for day 141 in katy perry movie”
I never actually state which song is playing during Day 141 but I will tell you that it’s the sequence involving all the celebrities talking about Katy and during which one of my favorite moments happens: when Lady Gaga sweeps past Katy wearing some insane tinfoil-esque outfit and Katy calls out that she looks like a Hershey’s kiss.  In that moment I shared solidarity with Katy Perry.


“monuments men quotes about the importance of culture”
Here is what George Clooney, as Lt. Frank Stokes, had to say about culture in The Monuments Men:
'You can wipe out an entire generation, you can burn their homes to the ground, and somehow they’ll still find their way back. But if you destroy their history, you destroy their achievements, then it’s as if they never existed. That’s what Hitler wants, and that’s exactly what we’re fighting for.'


“mom beetlejuice”
Delia Deetz, who was actually Lydia’s stepmother, was played by the incredible and flawless Catherine O’Hara.


“kay panabaker csi”
Oh snap, you searchers are coming at this Lindsey Willows question from both ends of the series now!  Tricksy.  But you can’t fool me.  This is like every test in school ever that features differently-worded versions of the same question just to see if you are randomly selecting your multiple choice answers to form a pleasing dot-matrix pattern or if you sincerely possess the powers of reading comprehension.


“i love my sunglasses lyrics”
These are not the lyrics you’re looking for.  You can go about your business.  The actual lyrics you’re looking for are “I wear my sunglasses at night / so I can so I can / watch you weave then breathe your story lines” and the song 'Sunglasses At Night' is by Corey Hart.  Welcome to the 80s, bitches.


“how were the dollengangers incestuos”
Incestuous.  They were incestuous the same way Jaime and Cersei Lannister are incestuous.  Still not clear?  Sibling sex.  Chris and Cathy Dollenganger, brother and sister, had sex in 'Flowers in the Attic'.  To be absolutely crystal clear: sex with each other.   


“ferd dryer”
Fred.  Fred Dryer, you curious kitten.  He played quintessential 80s ‘shoot first and ask questions later’ cop Rick Hunter on the Stephen J. Cannell produced show ‘Hunter’.  (They were very creative with show titles in the 80s.)


“fabienne sexy”
Ah Butch and Fabienne.  The dialogue you’re looking for is from Quentin Tarantino’s brilliant Pulp Fiction.
Fabienne: I was looking at myself in the mirror.
Butch: Uh-huh?
Fabienne: I wish I had a pot.
Butch: You were lookin' in the mirror and you wish you had some pot?
Fabienne: A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy.
Butch: Well you should be happy, 'cause you do.
Fabienne: Shut up, Fatso! I don't have a pot! I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did "Lucky Star," it's not the same thing.
Butch: I didn't realize there was a difference between a tummy and a pot belly.
Fabienne: The difference is huge.
Butch: You want me to have a pot?
Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
Butch: You think guys would find that attractive?
Fabienne: I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

 

“but not reliably sharron stone”
Sharon Stone.  One ‘r’.  Ms. Stone if you’re nasty.  The exact quote is found in the following dialogue from 1996’s Diabolique:
Leo: Second-hand smoke kills, you know.
Nicole: [blowing smoke in Leo's face] Not reliably.

 

... the more you know.  ;)

 

- Corinne Simpson