Nathan's Laserium - The F.A.F.A.F.

The bunnies and beavers, the mice and the moose 
All gathered together by the gnarled old spruce 
The elk and the deer helped fill up the quorum 
For the First Annual Forest Animal Forum 
The Chairman Chipmunk called a start to the meeting 
First on the agenda was concern over eating 
Of innocent animals by big ugly bears 
Who crunch on the bones in their big ugly lairs 
The squirrels suggested a pre-emptive strike 
Mr. Moose had a laugh and said, "Do as you like 
"Bombard them with acorns until they surrender 
"When their heads start to ache and their heinies get tender" 
The squirrels sat down and the bunnies took the floor 
"We are known for our cuteness and not for our roar 
"So we have a proposal and we hope you will grab it 
"Henceforth we shall be known by the name Grizzly Rabbit" 
The motion was passed and the rabbits were glad 
But the field mice stood up and they looked kind of mad 
They squeaked something out about how it just wasn't fair 
For a rodent to take on the name of a bear 
"We are NOT rodents, and we will do as we please 
"So sit down and be silent and eat some of your cheese" 
Next thing you know all the animals were fighting 
There was scratching and clawing and beating and biting 
Elk called Racoon a bank-robbing bandit 
The bighorns banged heads and the beavers said dam it 
The F.A.F.A.F. was an utter disaster 
It went south like the geese but only much faster 
Homie looked on and shook his head, all disgusted 
He could have helped but predators weren't trusted 
This all goes to show that you never should dare 
To try changing the world without the help of a bear!

( Originally Posted 18th November 2003)

- Nathan Waddell