As far as I know, I’m a few decades away from retirement. It’s not a topic that has entered my brain too much. I’ve been far too busy dealing with the now, much less thinking about some far off date when I will supposedly stop working.
In the last few months, though, I have had several coworkers, friends, and family members decide to call it a career. As I’ve watched them move into the post-work phase of their lives, it’s gotten me thinking about what I might want to do in the far distant future when I too am able to set aside my daily toil for the carefree life of a retiree.
Ok. That might be overstating things a wee bit. For all I know, I may be working into my 90s just to pay off my kids’ college debt. But, assuming that I do have some freedom to decide how I will spend my so-called golden years, there are a few potential plans that I am considering.
Plan A: Win the lottery and retire immediately to the English countryside – Admittedly, this one is a long shot, as I discussed HERE (As a side note, as bad as the lottery odds that I discussed in that post were, I’ve found one that’s even worse. The odds of winning the Publisher’s Clearing House $5,000 per week for life are 1 in 1,750,000,000! That’s almost seven times worse than your odds of winning the Mega Millions jackpot.). Still, it would be so very nice. However, in the interest of keeping this discussion in the bounds of the possible, I will move on to more realistic plans.
Plan B: Stay exactly where I am – Same house, same town, same everything. This is certainly more realistic, and it has the benefit of being perfect if I want to be lazy. I don’t have to pack up my crap, fix up my house, or anything. Also, with the house where I live now, I will be assured of space for any visits from my kids and/or future grandchildren (FAR Future Grandchildren).
This plan is fine and all, but doesn’t it sound kind of…boring? What am I doing to enjoy myself? How about…
Plan C: Sell the house, and buy a condo closer to the city. Right now I’m in a small town almost an hour away from Baltimore. I could unload my place and get a much small one that won’t require much maintenance or, more importantly, any yardwork (I hate yardwork. I mean HATE. Absolutely despise it!). Then I could…
I don’t know really. I guess that’s kind of the point. I’ll be retired. I could do whatever I wanted. I just have no idea what that would be. Sure, I’d like to think that I would be writing, but how else would I fill my days? And would there really be that much of interest to do?
Of course, that could be true anywhere. Lots of older people move to Florida, but what do they do there other than gloat that they never have to see snow again?
Wait a second. Florida! I have it!
Plan D: I will move to Florida. Orlando, more specifically. Once there, I will buy the Florida resident-priced season passes to the Disney and Universal parks (Hopefully at an even better price with my senior citizen discount.). And then I will spend my days enjoying the parks. I love rides, and even if I can’t handle them as much when I’m older, the parks are clean, safe, and provide wonderful places to walk and people watch.
Yes, there is one potential flaw in my plan: park food is expensive. But I may be able to find ways around that. I could sneak in sandwiches and such in a coat. No one is going to frisk an old man for an illicit ham and cheese.
I really think this has possibilities. Forget moving into some kind of retirement community. I’m going to grow old with the Mouse
- Alan Decker
@CmdrAJD on Twitter.