Nathan's Laserium - A Letter to Mr. Joss Whedon

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Hard to believe it's just over a month until Avengers: Age of Ultron comes out! I'm pretty excited. Like really really excited. Seriously. It's gonna be so awesome! Wow, I can't wait.

Except, well, here's the thing.

Since the first Avengers movie (which was so awesome by the way!) there has been a second Thor movie, a second Captain America movie, and a third Iron Man movie. There was even a movie about a talking raccoon. It was funny!

But what about the Hulk? Yes I know there's been two Hulk movies, but the first one was kind of its own thing and the second one was a lot of fun but didn't even have your guy playing the Hulk.

You probably didn't know this but the Hulk is my favorite superhero ever. Like always has been. Remember when he fought Woodgod and the Changelings in Incredible Hulk #252? My favorite comic ever of all time, and pretty much the best comic ever made. I don't understand
why you guys just didn't make a movie out of that, like maybe after you did Much Ado About Nothing you could've taken a week or two to make a Hulk movie. It's not that hard- they've made at least one Hulk comic every month since 1962. Plus a pretty great television show and even some cartoons and the aforementioned movies. So, no excuses, Mr. Whedon.

Don't get me wrong, the trailers show some pretty awesome Hulkabilia. And the Iron Man Hulkbuster armour fighting him? Thank you so much for doing that. Ok, with less than a month to go I guess I have to admit that getting a standalone Hulk movie is pretty much impossible.

But far be it from me to write you a letter just to complain, without offering some concrete solutions for you. So here you go:

No one cares about Ultron. Sure he's a robot and I love robots and that's cool, but even the guys at Marvel made a comic series called Age of Ultron in which Ultron wasn't even in it.
Really! So forget about him. I saw this foreign movie once, don't know if that's your thing, Joss, but I am pretty cultured so I enjoy foreign cinema. Anyways it was about this giant lizard who had to fight an even more giant ROBOT lizard. It was awesome. I forget what it was called. Anyways. You already have the footage of Hulk versus the Hulkbuster, right? Cut all the rest of the movie and make way more of that, ok? Trust me. And also make an even more bigger Hulkbuster and call it MechaHulk. And Hulk has to fight him and almost lose but then win in a heroic way, well, you know how to do movies I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job.

Yes, I realize all your posters and merchandise and promotional materials say Age of Ultron on it, so here is my other incredibly helpful suggestion: the movie will now be called Avengers: Rage of Hulktron! See, a little spray paint or crayons or whatever on all the posters and no problem. I can even get my daughters to help.

Smashingly Yours,

Nathan Waddell

I had similar concerns about the absence of a Black Widow movie, but bringing that up would change the tone of this letter from jovial friendliness to something more in line with that emotion the Hulk is famous for. And anyway I know that's not your call. Put in a good word for her, ok? Thanks!