Nathan's Laserium: Homie Bear Versus the Sasquatch

Happy Valentine’s Day! Early, I know. Whatever, I’m working nights on Valentine’s Day. It’s never really been much of a thing for me and Michelle. Since I work it alla time. It’s not a holiday! But I used to enjoy writing funny love poems this time of year, like this one, courtesy of 2007:

Homie Bear was trying to write a poem for his Mrs

A ‘Be Mine, Valentine’ with lots of hugs and kisses

But writing unbad love poetry isn’t very easy

It’s hard to avoid the clichés that always makes them cheesy

Suddenly a scary creature broke into the house

Ignoring Homie the monster went directly for his spouse

It grabbed Michelle and left the house, leaving Homie in it

Total time for this shocking crime was well under a minute

Homie was stunned- “That stupid sasquatch just came and stole my sweety

“In clear violation of the Bilateral Bear and Bigfoot treaty!”

Homie Bear immediately stopped working on his sonnet

His wife would need a rescue promptly so he got right on it

He ran outside and there in the snow was a talking Cupid’s Arrow

It said to Homie “Follow me I’ll keep you on the Straight and Narrow”

He climbed a mountain and swam an ocean and ignored some wild horses

Who for unknown reasons tried to make him go off on wrong courses

Eventually he came upon the secret sasquatch cave

Where he fought the biggest Bigfoot there by being very brave

He roared and growled and clawed and bit

Until the sasquatch had enough of it

It cried and panicked and ran away

So ole Homie won the fray

He hugged his wife and took her home

Where he read to her his poem:

Roses are red and violets are blue

I’d fight a savage sasquatch for you!


- Nathan Waddell