Nathan's Laserium: Homie and the Witch

There was a magic wizard bear who knew a lot of spells

He cast them in his castle in the woods by where he dwells

The spells were simple harmless stuff that bears appreciate

Berry creeks and salmon trees and more time to hibernate

But then an evil witch queen came and told the bear to exit

She had come to rule the woods and maybe even hex it

The wizard bear was sad and cried "Oh my, oh my, oh me!"

He went to the cave of his friend who was a bear named Homie

Homie took one look at him and said "Hey whatsa matter?

You look so sad and lonely (although you do look somewhat fatter)"

"An evil witch queen came and took away my castle

I'd try to get it back from her but it will be a hassle"

Homie said "Do not fear, I will get it back

I'll just plan a special sneaky slick surprise attack!"

So Homie went to the castle dressed up as a crone

The witch queen let her in since she thought he was her clone

"So good to see you dear, come on in and eat

I just cooked up some eye of newt for a special treat!"

Homie waited for the queen to gobble and to guzzle

Before he took off his mask and revealed his mighty muzzle

The queen was shocked and scared but she waved her magic wand

And some frightful monsters appeared from the Great Beyond

Homie fought and crushed and smashed each and every demon

And ate the evil witch queen who went down his throat still screamin'

And so the magic wizard bear got his castle back

And conjured Homie an extra special magic Berry Snack!



First published 22nd May 2003

- Nathan Waddell