Nathan's Laserium: Oscar Spotlight

Alright, so, apologies but I've been working nights all week and am only now getting caught up on what I missed. By the time you read this even Super Tuesday will be old news (and I hopefully will have figured out what it is a Super Tuesday by then) but I'm still reading about the Oscars.

Spotlight won, eh? Good for them! Yay! I really really loved that movie. Kind of a surprising pick for a Best Picture Oscar, though. Kind of a surprising pick for a movie in the first place, really. Not even a single bear mauling. But it's about writers! And I love writers! It's also about taking down systemic pedophilia and I love taking down . . . etc etc. One of the many things I loved about that movie is there are no cartoonish bad guys or car chases or even bad words aimed at anyone really. Most of the conflict is carried out in conversations like this:

Catholic guy: So, we would really like it if you didn't write the story. What do you say?

Newspaper Guy: Um, I think we are still going to write the story.

Catholic guy: Awww.

The performances are so perfect, yeah? There is nothing wrong with this movie. It is perfect, in that it perfectly does what it sets out to do. So yeah, congrats on the Oscar. Maybe more people will see it.

But if I had been a member of the Academy, my vote totally would've gone to Fury Road. Mad Max! Yeah! Of course it would have. Sure it won all the technical awards, but it would've been nice to see George Miller take either Best Director or Picture.

This is how I would've done it.

"And the Academy Award for Best Picture goes to..." awkward drumroll while the presenter (probably Scooby Doo or somebody like that) opens the envelope, "... Tom Hardy!"

And then Tom Hardy would take the stage, somewhat bewildered looking. "I think there must be some mistake. I wasn't nominated for Best Picture. I'm an actor, you see."

President of the Academy goes out, whisper whisper whisper in Tom's ear.

"Ah, I see. There has been no mistake. Well, thanks. But I hereby dedicate this award to Fury Road and Charlize and George Miller."

Everyone claps and cheers.

"And also Spotlight, I loved that movie very much. Good night!"

Thunderous applause, and also the guitar flamethrower guy plays a wicked riff on his flamethrower guitar.

- Nathan Waddell