Nathan's Laserium: The Last Living Black Polar Bear

Do you get to choose your influences? Kind of, right, but what if you’re heroes are just better than you are? I always wanted to be a lyrical meld of Rob Zombie with his “I am the Astro-Creep, a Demolition-style hell American creep” patter of like horror/carnival lines and Gord Downie with his constant barrages of likely non-sequiturs and randomalities that evoke . . . something smarter than me, anyways.  Here was my attempt, from way back in 2003, to try for that. At least I can also hide behind the excuse of time. Am I any better now? Well, maybe lyrical poetry is never going to be my forte.

 

The Last Living Black Polar Bear

 

He's the last living black polar bear

Ursis maritimus with brunette hair

An anti-albino Arctic animal anomaly

Melpomene's very own private North Pole-my-knee

Jet black get back goth smack chiller

Razor claws toothy jaws icy-cold killer

Last of his kind going out of his mind

Glacier sliding iceberg hiding glaring snowblind

 

-September 8, 2003

 

- Nathan Waddell