The spirit of Christmas illustrated...

Awwwwww... *melts*

Also, you know the part of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' about the children being nestled snug in their beds while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads? If by 'sugarplum' you mean 'Catherine', that's an eerie peek into my midnight reveries.

Dear Santa,

I want to thank you for your attentiveness to detail last year. I didn't ask you specifically for anything and that is exactly what you got me. Now that's customer service right there.

This year I'm aware that I've already asked for an Addams Family pinball machine and that might be enough of an ask to negate the detailing of additional items but I'm nothing if not a hopeless dreamer. Actually, appropriately, it's dreams I wish to reference. The strawberry 'sugarplum' of my dreams? Yeah, I assume you're a mind-reader or Betazoid or something so I don't need to spell it all out for you but suffice it to say that's what I want also. In some kind of tangible physical form.

I don't know if your powers extend that far. I've never been able to accurately ascertain just how much magic versus how much FAO Schwartz mad toy-making skills have contributed to your insane longevity. It might be that you're a sort of alien/superhero hybrid with post-radioactive-exposure abilities or you might actually be one of the faerie folk. Then again, maybe you're just a cold weather loving recluse with too much time for whittling on your hands. Either way, it can't hurt to ask is what I'm saying.

So, in conclusion, if you are magic then I'd like my sugarplum (wrapped - I can handle the unwrapping myself) perched atop the Addams Family pinball machine come Christmas morning and if you're not magic, the pinball machine sans sugarplum will do nicely.

Thank you, Santa.


P.S. I've been good. You know, comparatively. Remember several decades ago when we hashed out that human-to-vampire sliding scale of goodness to ensure a fair assessment every Christmas?