There are frequently a lot of 'waiters' in the backstage/tech arena of theatre. I don't mean service staff either. I mean people who are waiting to get on stage and who accept backstage work as a way to get their foot in the proverbial door. I don't know whether this tactic is good or bad. On the one hand I understand wanting to work in your dream field in any capacity available to you. On the other hand actors aren't known for their love of being unseen and rarely acknowledged. So, you know...

The point is that I am not one of the waiters. I don't want to be on stage. Or on film. For those of you who know me and my lack of shame, lack of 'sotto voce', and general ability to make a scene when I want to this may come as something of a surprise but it happens to be true. Still, every so often we stage managers are called upon to stand in for missing actors to make a scene flow. Today was one of those days. Let's recap the lessons learned, shall we?

1. All my accents sound Canadian.
2. I don't look an awful lot like an old male farmer.
3. You have to memorize every single line. Bitch, please! If it's not on CSI, not part of The Princess Bride, and not set to music, I won't remember it.
4. I walked, unscripted, into a chair while exiting the stage.

It's good to know your limitations in life, you know? And to be perfectly frank there are too many actors in the world already. I'm just saying.