recently compiled a list of the top ten celebrity Lady-Boner Poppers.

First, 'Lady-Boner Popper'? Did you hear that? That was the sound of the English language howling in agony.

Second, I strongly suspect their list was made up by a man. How else to explain a top ten that includes Kate Beckinsale, M.I.A., Scarlett Johansson, Beyonce Knowles, Gisele Bundchen, and Angelina Jolie?

Third, defines a "lady-boner popper", intriguingly, as being the following:
"A 'lady boner' is the female equivalent of a man crush. Women get excited about women who aren't just hot, but also smart, sexy, talented, and funny. Their crushes are women they'd like to be, or at least hang out with -- women they respect, but who also get them hot." That's actually a very cool definition for a very heinous term.

All the celebrity women I personally find appealing are "smart, sexy, talented, and funny" along with being attractive. I find talent immensely alluring. I also prefer women. As opposed to girls or starlets. So I thought I'd go ahead and re-write the list on my own terms. And because this is my Crypt, I'm going to post all ten at the maddening pace of one per day. If you know me at all you should be able to name at least four right off the top of your head. But aren't you curious about the other six? Well, even if you aren't let's go ahead and start at ten so we can work our way up to the blindingly obvious one delicious step at a time.

10. Annette Bening
It's The Grifters that made everybody sit up and take notice. Her naturally lower voice was lofted an octave or two to play the sweet-and-saucy con artist Myra. She's frequently naked in the film, and dangerously sexy, but it's the scenes where her big eyes well with tears or her sweet mouth hardens with fury that rate her. She has been nominated for three Academy Awards (The Grifters, American Beauty, Being Julia) but perhaps her greatest achievement thus far is taming notorious womanizer Warren Beatty, whom she has been married to since 1992. She's got an irresistible quality, not to mention that reddish hair and blinding smile, and keeps on delivering fabulous performances about beautiful women with fatal flaws or unearthly amounts of grit in films like Bugsy, Richard III, and Running With Scissors.