I can't quit CSI. I'm a junkie. It's my eyeball crack. How can it possibly still be entertaining when I can identify not only the crime but the forensic solution and guilty party before the opening credits of every episode? I don't know. But there it is: a conundrum. It has ceased to be about solving crime for me. It has evolved into something else entirely. A moody blue-lit happy place.

To maintain diversity I've expanded into repeated viewings of Janet Jackson's 'All For You' and 'The Velvet Rope' concert DVDs. My god... like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire... That's the Way Love Goes... Alright? I forgot how much a part of my teen years 'Rhythm Nation' and Janet were. And now I'm bringing them forward, baby! Janet's got a number ones album dropping around November 22nd and I will be purchasing a copy. A whole new generation will come to understand that she is more than Nipplegate. She is all about Control of the Pleasure Principle and just so you know, her first name ain't baby, it's Janet... Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

Don't start. I can't hear you anyway, I'm in my happy place.